101 secrets of effective parenting by Vidyashankar Guru
Last Updated: August 21, 2025
Is Parenting Fun or Pain? Parenting is about bringing up a new generation, and the choice whether to make it a joyful process or a strenuous path lies with parents themselves.Today’s children are better informed because of exposure to various modes of communication and they are ‘Digital Natives’.Parenting is not about just bringing up your child, but it is about inspiring your child, making them passionate about life and learning, and creating a winning mindset to make them super achievers in life. This podcast will help parents to give the best to their children and strengthen Parent-Child relationship. It is a compilation of real life strategies based on Author’s first hand experience of handling children and parents from various parts of the world.This is the audio version of the book with the same title.
Chapter#101 The Ultimate Formula to Manage Problematic Behaviour!
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Secret#101
To effectively deal with your children's problematic behaviour, you should first know the problem and the real objective of the children. Make them aware of the consequences and finally help them face those consequence while helping to maintain their self-esteem. It is then that you can create a powerful pygmalion Effect!
Chapter#100 Eleven Myths About Parenting And What You Can Learn From Them
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Secret#100
To be a good parent you must always have a positive attitude and mindset.
Chapter#99 Eleven of the Most Popular Questions Children Have Asked Me My Answers and What You Can Learn From Them
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Secret#99
Lack of communication may cause your children to see things from a negative perspective. Talk to your children and help them get rid of their wrong notions
Chapter#98 Eleven of the Most Popular Questions Parents Have Asked Me My Answers and What You Can Learn From Them
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Secret#98
Help your children develop the 'I must change' attitude.
Chapter#97 Eleven Things Your Children Want to Say About you And What You Can Learn From Them
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Secret#97
Your children must respect you. Have the right balance between your love and strictness.
Chapter#96 Eleven Things Your Children Want to Say About Life And What You Can Learn From Them
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Secret#96
It is not only communication, which is an integral part of a child-parent relationship, you should also set an example for them, while helping them find their own identities.
Chapter#95 Eleven Things Your Children Want to Say About Their Own Selves And What You Can Learn From Them
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Every child's circumstances are different. See the difference and accept it.
Chapter#94 Eleven Things Your Children Want to Say About School and Subjects And What You Can Learn From Them
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secret#94
See things from your children's point of view, rather than forming an opinion based on your preset notions.
Chapter#93 Eleven Things Your Children Want to Say About Friends and Teachers And What You Can Learn From Them
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Understand the importance of your children's friends in their lives. Also don't blindly accept teachers' views on your children's behaviour and characteristics.
Chapter#92 Take Charge!
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This one's the simplest, and the easiest, because I want you to remember it always. TAKE CHARGE!
Chapter#91 Children Hate Comparisons
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Treat your children as individuals. Do not compare them with others.
Chapter#90 Fast and Steady Wins the Race!
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The fast and steady is more likely to win the race. Teach your children the practical and the probable.
Chapter#89 They Steal, Tell Lies, Come Home Late There's a Reason Behind It
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Even if you see worrying signs, especially compulsive lying, do not give up on your children. There is probably a good reason behind these actions. Understand your children's motivations, understand them - and give them your time.
Chapter#88 Time to Say 'I LOVE YOU'
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Secret#88
Consciously create magical moments by showing your love, and declaring it!
Chapter#87 Watch a Movie With Your Children!
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This one is a question. So, which film will you watch with your children this weekend?
Chapter#86 The Power of Human Connection
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Secret#86
Teach your children to respect relationships, and gradually lead them on into developing deep relationships that nurture the soul.
Chapter#85 Teach Your Children the Power of Giving
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Teach your children how to share and how to give Remember, this lesson is more important than teaching them how to acquire!
Chapter#84 Is Parenting Fun or a Pain?
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Keep a photography of your spouse, your children and you, with the words 'I love parenting' on it, in your wallet. Look at it several times a day, say the words to yourself and make this a part of your daily thought pattern.
Chapter#83 The Importance of Giving Your Children Sex Education
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If you don't make efforts to educate your children about sex, they will turn to the media or society for the same. This may lead them to make wrong assumptions. As a parents, you have the greatest responsibility to ensure your children learn the right facts about human birth, the relationship between men and women, sex and moral values.
Chapter#82 Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder Feel in Control and Support Your Children
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When your children lack concentration or feel restless, it may not always mean that they have a medical disorder, even thought their teacher and doctor may suspect one. During those tough times feel in control and support your children to handle this challenge in a positive way.
Chapter#81 The Mindset of a Millionaire
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Being a millionaire is about the mindset. If you make a millionaire bankrupt, he will became a millionaire again!
Chapter#80 The Habit of Saving Create Your Children's Piggy Banks
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What makes the difference in life is not how much you earn, it is how much you save. Teach your child to save, and lead by example.
Chapter#79 What Do You Teach Them About the Rich and Famous?
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Teach your children the right notions about the rich. Contrary to the common belief that fortunes can be only earned through legal, moral and ethical ways.
Chapter#78 What Do You Say About Your Children's Teachers ?
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The rapport between children and their teachers is very important for children to learn well and learn happily. What you tell your children about their teacher is very important. Look for positive interpretations of their teacher's behaviour and convey the same to your children.
Chapter#77 Let Your Children Say 'I Love Exams'!
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Teach your children to say 'I LOVE EXAMS' and gradually learn to mean it. It will invariably have a big impact on their scores.
Chapter#76 Your Children's Revision Strategy!
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Help your children come up with wise strategies that enable effective preparation. Whenever your children feel over-whelmed by the amount of studies, talk to them and reinforce the positive belief that they can do it. Be prepared to be there for them, and your children will be ready for their exams.
Chapter#75 Reading Fast is Possible and Important
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Secret#75
Help your children to read faster and consequently, better.
Chapter#74 Your Children's Memory is Unlimited
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Help your children implement the right strategies to improve their memory. It will make a world of difference to their confidence levels.
Chapter#73 Your Children's VAK Skills
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All sense should be used in the learning process. so, help your children in this regard.
Chapter#72 The Study Environment
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Help your children create the right environment, for productive hours of studying.
Chapter#71 Play to Win
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SECRET#71
Create in your children a mindset of 'playing to win'. Make them realise the difference. It isn't only about the skills or about being lucky, it is about the mindset. The winning mindset!
Chapter#70 Never, Never Give Up
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This is a one-liner.
NEVER GIVE UP .
Chapter#69 Should You Ask Your Children to Work Hard?
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If your children want to run better in the race of life, they must learn how to think smart.
Chapter#68 Should You Only Dream 'Realistic'?
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Your children have it in them to make the impossible, possible! So, don't be 'realistic' and decide on their behalf what is achievable and what is not!
Chapter#67 Your Children Must have a Role Model
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An appropriate role model often suggests how dreams may be turned into reality. Help your children select a positive role model they admire and are inspired by.
Chapter#66 Any Where They Can be Successful
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Let your children live their dreams, and follow that path of their choice. They will undoubtedly be much happier that way, and reach great heights of creative and
professional satisfaction.
Chapter#65 No Blame, No Excuses, No Complaints
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Teach your children the powerful practice of taking responsibility for one’s own life, since that gives one the power to make changes. No blames, No Excuses, No Complaints - should be one of the favourite adages in your family.
Chapter#64 Your Beliefs about Parenting
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Consciously cultivate those beliefs about parenthood which enable you to become a better, happier and more positive parent.
Chapter#63 There are No Failures, Only Feedback
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Whenever children fail to reach their target, you must teach them to take the results as feedback and not give up. Once they understand that failure is something that they can really learn from, they will stop making the same mistakes in future, and never be depressed by the burden of taking failure too seriously!
Chapter#62 It is Possible for Me
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Secret#62
Inculcate in your children the belief that nothing is impossible and that everything can be achieved if they believe in their dreams. Having the right strategy and a
strong belief will help your children turn what they thought was impossible into possible!
Chapter#61 Participate 100%
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Secret#61
You display it as a parent, and your children will learn the secret from you.
Chapter#60 Don’t Read this Chapter
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Positive commands make a huge difference to your children’s behavior. Negative commands make them subconsciously think they should do what they shouldn’t do! It has nothing to do with your children, and everything to do with the words you use! Make a conscious change in your vocabulary-Weed out the
negatives!
Chapter#59 Is that Your Pattern?
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Secret#59
If you start doubting certain actions immediately after concluding them, and have passed on this behavioural pattern to your children. Don’t hold your children responsible for displaying a similar behaviour pattern. Just create a practice of associating those actions with particular events. And the problem will solve itself soon enough.
Chapter#58 The Parent’s Biggest Fear
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Whenever you find your children resist your advice or answer back, it is time for you to sit with them and share your concerns. You’ll find that their response to this truth will be one of understanding you can work out a solution together.
Chapter#57 No Children are Unable to Learn
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Next time you say to yourself. ‘My children can’t learn’, give it some serious thought. Remind yourself of Anne Sullivan, Helen Keller’s teacher. Never forget the fact that, every child has the capacity to learn.
Chapter#56 Should I Scold My Children?
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If you shout or scream at your children as you scold them, valid as your grounds are, they may miss the real lesson you wish to impart. So, never simply scold, always give your reasons for doing so.
Chapter#55 Celebrate Life
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Secret#55
You don’t need a special reason to celebrate. The fact that you are alive right here, right now is good enough. Once you learn to celebrate life, that is the biggest gift ever, which you give to your children. Your children will learn how to celebrate life and thus live life better.
Chapter#54 Life is Unfair
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Help your children face unfair treatment that life will unfortunately, but invariably, give them.
Chapter#53 Too Much to Study - Compared to What?
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Your children have a greater mental capacity than you give then credit for, so don’t worry unnecessarily on their behalf. Indeed, their syllabus is nothing compared to the tools they have at their command. So, do not give them the vibes that their school work and extra-curricular activities are too much for them!
Chapter#52 "Meaning of the Communication is the Response You Get"
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Think about how you can be flexible enough with your children during conversations, so that they understand
the message you want to convey. The response you receive from your children will clearly tell you whether you are communicating in the right way!
Chapter#51 If I Can’t, Then I MUST
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‘Never say never’, ‘Never say die’. Let these be the attitudes you inculcate in your children. Nothing is impossible for the willing and the brave. Teach your children this mantra -‘ If I can’t, then I must’. Practise it yourself too!
Chapter#50 The Competition
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Instead of making competition days into stressful days, why don’t you treat your children normally? Allow them to participate for the experience, not just for the prize. The prizes make sense only if they aim and strategize to win. They have to do this for themselves, or those prizes are not for them but for you!
Chapter#49 Is My Biggest Enemy My Sibling?
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Each one of your children is unique. So, instead of loving
equally, learn how to LOVE UNIQUELY. Understand
what is special about each of your children and love them
for their special selves. Do you make sibling rivalry any
bigger than it is?
Chapter#48 Why Should I Study?
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Secret#48
Discuss patiently with your children, the purposes and
motivations of studying. Share with them the larger
picture, and you’ll find them more receptive than you
imagined.
Chapter#47 Behind Every Type of Behaviour there is a Positive Intention
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Do not judge too soon. Analyse the motivation behind
your children’s actions, and in them you will surely find
the answer to their behavioural challenges.
Chapter#46 Choices have Consequences
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Let your children make their own choices, then allow
them to face the consequences. As long as the situation is
well under control, do not intervene to bail them out. Let
them learn their lessons on their own.
Chapter#45 Are You a Hitler During Study Time?
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Secret#45
Isn’t it true that only when you start loving and enjoying
what you do, will you become good at it? Make study
time fun and exciting for your children, so that they enjoy
their studies as much as they enjoy playing.
Chapter#44 Good, I am Getting Confused!
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Instead of feeling anxious, get excited about confusion.
When confused, it means that your children are learning
something new.
Chapter#43 Do Your Children Lack Concentration?
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There are no inattentive students, only fallacious
teaching methods, which can’t hold the children’s
attention. Now think for yourself, and I am sure you can
come up with appropriate pedagogic tools for them, and
make them happy learners. Study time will also become
fun time now!
Chapter#42 The ‘Right Brain Children’
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Secret#42
Are you worried why your children seem to hate the
regime of school so much, although they have a bright
creative spark? Find out if your children are right-brain
dominant.
Chapter#41 The ‘Left Brain Children’
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The Left Brain children perform well in their studies but
they are ‘Shy’. To be successful, children must be ‘Whole
Brain Learners’.
Chapter#40 Creating a Genius
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Parents never transmit your sense of inadequacies or
pains of your failures, to your children. Rather, help
them live in a world of thoughts, colours, music,
learning, and so on.
Chapter#39 The Past is Not Equivalent to the Future
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Secret#39
The paths of life are longer than we might think they are
during moments of depression. So never think that the
past and what is behind you, will be exactly mirrored in
the future. It is always possible to turn over a new leaf,
and live life anew, discover greener pastures and deeper
sunsets, even if there were no promises of these in your
past. Pass on this profound faith to your children.
Chapter#38 Resistance Means Lack of Rapport
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You don’t have to say yes to everything your children ask
of you, but before saying no, understand why they are
asking for something. Allow them to take some risks;
They may outperform your expectations. They will
understand that you trust them and not to let you down.
Learn your children’s language and respect their way of
thinking. That will go a long way in helping you build up
a great rapport with your children, and wait and see,
how easily the solutions will come!
Chapter#37 Excessive Sleeping: Not a Disease but a Symptom
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If you want your children to sleep right, and be more
active, ensure they have exciting goals to look forward to
in life..
Chapter#36 For Things to Change, I Must Change First
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Secret#36
Never wait for the world around to change for you. It
simply means continuing in a situation in which both you
and your children have no control, and wear a girdle of
victim-hood. Come forward and take responsibility for
what happens. Change yourself for the better. Take
stock, and then take control of your life. Your children
will follow.
Chapter#35 What You Do Matters a Lot More Than What You Say
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Secret#35
As parents you should make a special effort to create a
identity for yourselves by casting off your limiting beliefs.
This way you can become a powerful role model for your
children, who will emulate what you do.
Chapter#34 Little Eyes Watch Your Every Moment
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Secret#34
Parenting is an opportunity to shape your life for the
better! Remember, those little eyes are always watching
you and will learn to do things exactly as you do!
Chapter#33 Thank God it is Friday! You Want to Make it True for Your Children Too?
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Secret#33
Love your work. Or work on something you love. Your
example will leave an indelible imprint on your children’s
psyche. As a parent you must remember that through
your children you’re building the future generation - let
that generation do their work with more passion.
Chapter#32 Do You Dislike Your Children or Their Behaviour?
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Secret#32
As a parent, when you scold your children about
something, learn to direct your reprimand against the
action or behavioural trait that you don’t like, and don’t
accuse your children instead.
Chapter#31 Do You Donate Blood?
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Secret#31
Every complete individual has learnt to give
unconditionally towards the betterment of humanity.
Their heart naturally goes out to the needy. The best time
to offer this approach to your children is when they are
very young. Give them the opportunity to donate blood.
Help your Children aspire to become wonderful human
beings. Show them through your actions, donating blood
being one example of the same.”
Chapter#30 Balancing Parenting
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Chapter#29 What You Say Matters
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Chapter#28 Power of Expectations
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Secret#28
Your children will become whatever you expect of them. Your responsibility is to make sure your expectations are positive, productive und useful to their lives. If you let them know that you expect them to be untidy, lazy and bad tempered, you will have untidy, lazy & bad tempered children. If you say that they helpful, friendly and smart, you will have helpful, friendly and smart children. Surely you know which children you'd prefer.
Chapter#27 Visit an Orphanage
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Chapter#26 Children Are Gifted
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Chapter#25 Once You are a Parent, Learn How to Define Your Priorities
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Chapter#24 Break the Pattern. Freak Out with your Children- Once in a While
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Secret#24
Having a fixed pattern in our humdrum lives lives often allows ennui and monotony to set in. So, as a parent, every now and then, you should break the pattern, giving your children a nice surprise or escape from everyday life. In the joyous moments of freedom, you can lay the foundation of a deep, lasting bond together.
Chapter#23 What's True for You May Not be True for Your Child.
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Chapter#22 I Clean Up the House, Nobody Bothers
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Chapter#21 'My Child is Childish'
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Chapter#20 Changes Happen in a Heartbeat!
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Secret#20
Demolish the myth the positive changes inevitably take a life time to come about! If your children suddenly exhibit a positive trait, don't assume that it is temporary. Make note of it, encourage them- and wait for the result- the change will be here to stay.
Chapter#19 The Seven Day Mental Diet
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Chapter#18 The Regimen at Home
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Chapter #17 'My Child Makes Faces'; Are You a Toy?
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Secret#17
Observe the dynamics between your children and you. Are your reactions always on cue, do you always react in a manner they have learned to expect? Are you a toy in their hands? Then here's the solution- Break the Pattern! You will notice a marked improvement in their behavior.
Chapter #16 I am Just a Mom/Dad!
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Parents, you need to choose your identity depending on the need of the hour. So, be flexible in shifting between various positive parental ideals.
Chapter #15 Are You Like Gandhi?
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Chapter 14: Teenagers Find Their Friends More Understanding than their Parents.
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Chapter 13: Must Parents Go into Coma
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Chapter 12: Do Your Children Live in a Shell?
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Chapter 11: What Stories Will Inspire Your Children
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Chapter 10: Tell Your Children True Stories of Inspiration
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Chapter 9: When Your Children are Ill
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Chapter 8: How to Build Your Children's Self Esteem
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Secret#8
Think about all the positive things that your children have done, and if you haven't already, then express your appreciation for it now. This will help them build their self esteem for sure
Chapter 7: Your Children Must Learn to Face the Negative World
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Chapter 6: Self Pity Will Kill Your Children's Self Esteem.
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Secret #6
Parents, watch what you say. Don't say or suggest anything that would promote a sense of self-pity in your children. Beware of creating a victim.
Chapter 5: Be a Coach to Your Children
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Secret #5
Be a coach to your children. This means that you should neither simply be a spectator watching from the sidelines,. nor should you play the game for them. Help them perfect their skills, and especially enable them to learn to fight for themselves.
Chapter 4: The Best Parents are Like Giraffes!
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Secret#4
Sometimes if you see your children struggling with something, don't jump to do the task for them. Be by them, give them courage, learn to let them experience odds. Let your children grow up to be tough people. As Robert Schuller says- "Tough times don't last, but tough people do!"
Chapter 3: Give Your Children Life Skills!
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Secret#3
Academic education is only one aspect of your children's overall development. Help your children develop life skills too.
Chapter 2: Do You Want your Children to Become like the Boatman or the Professor
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Secret#2
Both life skills and study skills are important for your children to be successful and to become well rounded individuals.