#autisticaf out loud by Johnny Profane (Knapp Âû)

Last Updated: January 8, 2026
One Voice... Raw. Real. Fiercely Autistic.

johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com
Autistic Spoken Word on this Moment...? “Slouching toward Montauk”
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This moment... this New Year... disturbs many. This piece shares a disturbing moment from my autistic youth—and how I survived it. It weirdly relates to right now.

Friends, Grief & Autism…? They say we have no feelings…
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Friends, Grief & Autism…? They say we have no feelings…

Family, School, Work? They created this autistic bad@$$.
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Where does my autistic rage come from? Not from being born wrong. From being raised, schooled, mocked, trained, therapped, and medicated into it.

Like Some Angel with a Dislocated Shoulder: Song for My Autistic Son
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A father’s reflection on parental regret, missed connections, and what it means to forget the life you didn’t live. Raw spoken word + visual art. No hidden meanings. No inspiration. Just what it’s like

Family is complex for me. Autistic + ADHD... but Shameless.
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A spoken word piece about family wounds, estrangement, and choosing to live unapologetically.

Trump Brings Gaza War Crimes Home to US Autistics
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Trump brings Gaza war crimes home to US autistics.

LIVESTREAM: Trump Brings Gaza War Crimes Home to US Autistics
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Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

My Autism? Failing Upward to Burn Out? Or Succeeding Downward to...
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My autism? Failing upward toward collapse, succeeding downward toward joy?

RFKjr, Tylenol... Autism? Facts Ain't the Point
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RFK Jr.’s autism claims aren’t about helping anyone—they’re about deciding who gets to exist in America.

I saw... "Trump Disbands Congress." The Autistic Implications
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👉 Check out Trigger Warnings playlist More analysis on how world events impact neurodivergent lives and practical resistance strategies.

LIVE: Urgent Trigger Warnings, Plus RFKjr & Autism…
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Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

That Autism Superpower Thing... Let's Blow the Whole F-&%ing Myth Up
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👉A live reading from the Amazon book, “every clock is a handgun pointed at my head.”

Live Autistic Truth: "sneaking my mother's creepy g-d on high"
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Video Summary

What They Didn’t Tell Me About My Autistic Body… That Remembers Everything
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Content Note: Sexual abuse, family trauma, therapy processing, strong language, intense emotional content

Live Autistic Truth: "Dancing Close to the Edge of the Noise"
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👉 Subscribe… free or paid… to Substack, get a free PDF of the entire "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head" collection.👉 Support my work → Available as Amazon ebook or softcover. Exclusive hardcover edition coming soon.

Live Autistic Truth: "every clock is a handgun pointed at my head"
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Someone said this knocked them sideways
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Someone wrote me: "These knocked me sideways... I spent so much time as an undiagnosed autistic girl, wondering if I was the alien dropped among the normies."

Autistic Family & Other Mysteries, Live Spoken Word, 8/31/25
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Thanks to everyone who tuned in! Free or paid subscribers? Join me for my next live video in the app. Gonna be a Trigger Warnings kinda take on old men with their fingers on THE Button. This week…

Live Spoken Word, "every clock is a handgun" — s05e07
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Trigger Warnings 2: Not Everything's Funny: Colbert, Trump .. & Hiroshima
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Doc, You Got Us All Wrong, Pts 1 & 2
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Doc, You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 2: CBT...? Never Worked for Autistic Me
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Cold Open

Doc? You Got Us All Wrong, Pt 1: Autistic Resilience
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Cold Open

I need to talk with you about events beyond autism today
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Cold Open [into silence]

Living Autistic in Dangerous Times: Trump Labels 1 in 4 Families “Dire Threat”
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Cold Open (into silence)

Autism, Neurodiversity, 3 Poems... 3 Rando Manifestos
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Cold Open

Autistic Spoken Word: Every Clock Is a Handgun
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Full podcast with links to available poster artwork: https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/p/podcast-every-clock-is-a-handgun-2ee

Podcast: Every Clock is a Handgun in My Autistic Time
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Hey! I’m Johnny Profane… back after a 6-month bout of the "shys" to launch Season 5 of AutisticAF Out Loud.

One Autistic Voice: Escapin Up The Country
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An Example of Exclusive Subscriber Content… Raw, Real, Authentic.

Actually Autistic? Whatever Doesn't Kill Your Unique Neurodivergent Ass… s4e3
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Shattering Neurodivergent Stereotypes: A Raw Dialogue for Tomorrow's Generations

Autism? It's a State of Being. NOT an Identity Group, s4e2
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Slouching Toward Joy: My Best 6 Phases To An Actually Autistic Relief, s4e1
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Embracing Autism's Raw Truths in My 70s

The Night this Autistic Adult Broke Free: An Autistic A.F. Halloween Tale, s3e8
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###🎙️ Unmasking at the Late Night Picture Show: One Autistic's Reckoning

Homeless & Autistic...? Pt 2 - Theo Schools Me in Actually Autistic Joy s3e7
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🎙️ Episode Highlights:

Homeless & Autistic? Theo Taught Me Actually Autistic Joy in School s3E6
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🎙️ Inside This Episode:

This Autistic’s Fantasy: So, He Asks about My History… What I told My Doctor, s3e5
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Perfectionism ain’t working for me… maybe not for Autistic AF dot you, either. So here’s something, shall we say, a little “rawer” than my usual /rant…

“Calm Down!” Why is this the WORST Advice You Can Give an Autistic Person?”
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Ever been told to ‘calm down’? How’d it feel? Well, this autistic feels like exploding!

"Neurodivergent Kiss: Autistic Fairytale... Or Fabulous Marriage?"
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Folks ask about my #neurodivergent marriage.

Authentic Autistic Life: 4 Short Stories Fearless, Joyful and Chaotic, s3e2
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Season 3's mission? To boldly explore living authentically autistic... out loud. That first story? Carving out a safe space to be our true autistic selves... a big part of that quest.

Love, Politics & Faking Normal: 3 New Autistic Myths s03e01
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 Season 3 of AutisticAF Out Loud starts off with 3 new stories:

#AutisticRave: Group Processing Disorder. It's a Thing.
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I'm autistic. And I can't DO social groups. 

Imaginary Friends? This Autistic Kid's Bestie... Dissociation, Pt 1
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Spacing out... Zoning out... Most autists do it... to survive boring conversations, family get-togethers...

#AutisticRave: Life after Diagnosis: Joy... and Horror.
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 Wanna know what autistic life is like at 70? 

#AutisticRave: #DisabilityTikTok, #DisabilityTwitter, and the Economy -s2e10
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Experimenting with  a short #AutisticRave format. Let me know if you'd like to see these in the mix for #AutisticAF Out Loud Podcast.

"Look Doc... You Just Don't GET #AutisticJoy"
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This episode I talk aging as an Autistic Elder.

Designing My Home Around Adult Autism: Pt. 2 - 7 Survival Principles
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Finally learning to create a place of safety, peace, and passionate work...

Designing My Home Around Autism: Pt. 1 – Making It Work for Me
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What do *most* humans want from a new home?

Inside Autism & Eye Contact: How It Feels… How to Deal with the Terror s2e6
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Her eyes. So big… Then… Bigger…. Brighter… Enormous… 

Fanning the Flames: #AutisticJoy in the Classroom - Intersectional Infinity Conference s02e05
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Johnny Profane's presentation to the Intersectional Inifinity Summit, educators, parents, caretakers... and autistic folks as well.

Selective Mutism: I Have No Mouth. But I Must SCREAM… s2e4
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Sh*tpost: The Whole ’It’s-Not-a-Disability-It’s-Society’ Myth… Sucks. s2e3
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“They” say #autism… or #ADHD… are not disabilities. It only seems like that in a world designed for “neurotypicals.”

“The Cavalry Never Comes”: Sexual Assault & An Autistic Life, Pt. 2 s02e02
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You can help your autistic loved ones feel safer from sexual abuse & assault...

“Not Everyone Was My Friend”: Sexual Assault & An Autistic Life - s02e01
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Let’s kick off Season 2 of #AutisticAF Out Loud podcast… by taking a risk.

TRAILER! ”Confessions of an #AdultAutistic Anxiety Junkie”
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Preview the latest episode...

Confessions of an #AdultAutistic Anxiety Junkie - Stimming, Overload & Anxiety, Pt.3
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What better holiday to discuss adult autistic anxiety...

Zen & the Autistic Art of the Stim: Stimming, Overload & Anxiety, Pt. 2
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Here's the TL;DR....

ALL NEW EPISODE: ”Zen & the Autistic Art of the Stim” - DROPS 11/16 5am UTC
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ALL NEW EPISODE: S1E10 "Zen & the Autistic Art of the Stim"

TRAILER - ”On #AutisticJoy, Personality & Being in the Flow - s01e02”
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"Ya know? Autistic joy is hard to explain. Like, to another person. Pretty much, ANY non-autistic person.

TRAILER - Autistic Stimming, Overload & Anxiety, Pt.1: NOISE - A Spoken Song
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Let me bring you inside my world. Experience autistic sensory overload...

Autistic Stimming, Overload & Anxiety, Pt. 1: NOISE - A Spoken Song
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Let me bring you inside the experience of Autistic Sensory Overload.

How to Get Diagnosed #ActuallyAutistic... In Just 26 Years! S01E08
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DSM 5… Diagnosis 299.00. An Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis…

TRAILER: Autistic Shutdowns: Believe I‘ll Cha-Cha-Change My Shirt...
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Meltdowns. Shutdowns. Burnouts...

Autistic Shutdowns: Believe I‘ll Ch-Ch-Change My Shirt - A Spoken Song
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"Austistic Shutdowns: Believe I'll Ch-Ch-Change My Shirt - A Spoken Song (bonus podcast)"

#AutisticJoy, Orgasmic Learning... & Ecstasy
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TK

Comic Book Hero: Surviving Bullying - A Spoken Song - s2e6-Bonus
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"Comic Book Hero: Surviving Bullying - A Spoken Song (bonus podcast)" AutisticAF Out Loud Podcast: blog post with transcript... https://t.co/6n4S5UbCRF Apple/Spotify/Stitcher/Audible/PocketCasts/more https://t.co/gPstaaApXN #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticAdult #DoILookAutisticYet #neurodiversity https://t.co/DYIsTy1Z0o--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/johnny-profane/supportSupport the show
TRAILER - Comic Book Hero: Surviving Bullying - A Spoken Song
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"Comic Book Hero: Surviving Bullying - A Spoken Song (bonus podcast)"
Autistic Masking as Performance Art - s1e6
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This episode is also available as a blog post with transcript: https://autisticaf.me/2021/08/21/autistic-masking-as-performance-art-podcast/--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/johnny-profane/support

#AutisticAF Out Loud (Trailer)
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NEW EPISODE! "Autistic Masking as Performance Art" - s1e6 - Publishes 8/21 5am EDT
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Also available as a blog post with transcript at AutisticAF.me 8/21 5am EDT.

Dear Autists: Forgiving Your Family? NOT a Cosmic Rule... s1e5
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Forgiving Your Family? NOT a Cosmic Rule... s1e5 TRAILER
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Available 8/10/21, 5 am EDT
Trailer: New Episode!
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Trailer for S01E04: "Millenial Friends: You. Are. Right... Question EveryTHING"
Podcast: Millennial Friends: You. Are. Right… Question EveryTHING.
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This episode is also available as a blog post with transcript: http://autisticaf.me/2021/07/28/millennial-friends-you-are-right-question-everything/--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/johnny-profane/support

Podcast: I’m Still Autistic. I STILL Fear Cops: One Year after Linden Cameron
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I think it’s time for a little controversy.

I'm Still Autistic. I STILL Fear Cops: One Year after Linden Cameron
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I think it's time for a little controversy...

S01E02: On #AutisticJoy, Personality & Being in the Flow…
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S01E02: On #AutisticJoy, Personality & Being in the Flow…Today, I’m hot on the trail of #Autistic Joy.What it is. Why you want it. How to get it. This episode is also available as a blog post with transcript: http://autisticaf.me/--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/johnny-profane/supportSupport the show
Note to a Younger Autistic Friend, Episode 1
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“Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be autistic…”Heart-felt note to college student rebuked by professor for being… well, autistic.Also available as blog post with transcript: https://autisticaf.me/2021/06/28/note-to-a-younger-autistic-friend-podcast-1/--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/johnny-profane/supportSupport the show
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